Lately I could swear that my life is moving at lightning speed! I am getting used to the fast paced schedule I have as a mom of two teenagers and a tween, and I love it! But, I find myself in a panic as I watch my kids grow up too fast.
I remember the days when I sat home alone with my babies watching the clock tick by so slowly, anxiously waiting for the time when Paul would be home to rescue me from the monotony. I remember counting the months off on the "babies firsts" calendar, anxious for baby Jake to reach his next milestone. I remember wishing for the day when McKenzie would sleep through the night. I remember marking the days off on the calendar for when Hannah wouldn't have to wear her "helmet" anymore. I remember thinking about how nice it would be when they were all three in school at the same time so I could have some time alone........ WHAT WAS I THINKING?!
Now I find myself laying awake at night feeling a little sick thinking about milestones. Jake will graduate in June. McKenzie will be a freshman next year, and in just a few months, my baby Hannah will be in junior high. I want to go back in time and yell at that girl to "stop wishing your life away and enjoy every moment!" but I can't. I can only tell myself to slow down and enjoy every moment from here on out.
I had listened to, and read about people with "perspective" warning the younger generation about how fast life passed by. But, true to form as a "young" mother I didn't believe them. I couldn't imagine it. Just as I couldn't see past next month when I was 17....I couldn't see past next year as a tired, stressed, worried, insecure young mother.
Now, don't be mistaken, I am not having regret. Remember, I don't do that anymore. I am just putting my new found perspective into action. So, one of my goals for 2012 is to remind myself every day to live in the now and enjoy each moment. Even the painful times have beautiful lessons to be learned and experiences to be had.
My promise to my children is this; Every day of my life I will strive to help you live in and enjoy the now. When you are having trouble seeing past next month, I will remind you about all of the wonderful experiences you have a head of you. When you are having trouble seeing past next year, I will be there to lift any burden I can, and remind you to enjoy the many blessings you already have.
Slow down and enjoy the now. For we are all truly blessed.
3 comments:
You are such a good mom. Your kids are lucky to have such a mom that looks at their lives and even in traditionally hard times (teenage years) you still want them to just stay with you like they are in whatever time they are. Enjoy it! I know you will. Here's to living every day on purpose! :)
Aw, I love you Berly. :) You are amazing and such a great example to me!
I can totally relate! I also sometimes feel like I wished away those early years...but when I really look back at it with perspective I don't think I was as bad as I think I was (and I'm sure you weren't either) Glad to hear you're enjoying your teenagers...and there are still a lot of great things to look forward to!
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